Not this time (he he he).

I found a really awesome screensaver that mimics an OSX Kernel Panic.  For those of you who don’t know what this is, a Kernel Panic is the Mac equivalent of a Windows Blue Screen of Death.  This is where the computer crashes completely and needs to be manually powered off and rebooted.

Yeah.  So I installed it on the recording computer at the studio, late on the night of March 31st.  And waited for the fun to begin.

We had a recording session the next morning with a band.  Jessica was running it.

She rebooted the computer once and almost did a second time before she figured out what was going on .

It was pretty classic.  I must say, I felt quite proud of myself.  My only regret was not being there to see her reaction.

If you’re interested downloading the screensaver, it can be found here.

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted anything from XKCD here, that amazing geeky web-comic that I love so much.  This strip talks about the power of positive thinking and how some people take it to an extreme.  I am all for positive thinking, and for taking responsibility for our choices, attitudes, and feelings, but some people take it to such an extreme that they use it as a club to beat others over the head with.  To me, that kind of defeats the point of “positive thinking.”  I like to believe that I, like the stick figure in the comic, also suck at being pessimistic.  There is all kinds of good in life.  I like to look for the positive, sure.

But I can’t pretend that life is happy 100% of the time, and I have an emotional need to acknowledge the things that make life bitter-sweet, rather than constantly framing them in positive-spun euphemisms.  As “The Princess Bride” so eloquently put it – “Life IS pain, highness.  Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.”

I also like to think that I’m getting better at not beating people over the head with idealogical clubs.  But I’ll leave that up to you to judge.

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Google Maps really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after BluRay? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.
13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this – ever.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dang it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
20. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
21. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
22. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
23. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
24. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
25. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
26. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?
27. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
28. driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.
29. Someimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
30. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet money everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time !

Note: these are for entertainment purposes only, and I mean offense to no one by them.  Just wanted to make ya smile.

How true that is!

“Oh, is that so? Tell me…” replies God.

“Well”, says the scientist, “we can take dirt and form it into the likeness of you and breathe life into it, thus creating man.”

“Well, that’s interesting. Show me.”

So the scientist bends down to the earth and starts to mold the soil.

“Oh no, no, no.” interrupts God.

(I love this…)

“Get your own dirt.”

8:00  am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite  thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite  thing!
12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00  pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary…

Day  983 of my captivity …

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.  They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates  and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations  perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of  escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the  carpet.  Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless  body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since  it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am.  S—!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices  tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies’. I must learn what this means  and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost  successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around  his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of  the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are  flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously short of  his mental capacities.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.

For now…

The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring,”Case dismissed!”

The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, “Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my Client and all other atheists have no such holidays.”

The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, “But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant.”

The lawyer said, “Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists.”

The judge said, “The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states, ‘The fool says in his heart, there is no God.’ Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned.