30 grownup truths (humorous)

September 10th, 2010 by Kawika Heftel

So I just turned 28 years old, and I’ve now been around the block a few times.  I’ve learned the world is quite a different place than I thought it was when I was a kid.  I thought I’d share some of the “grownup truths” I’ve come across (note: for entertainment purposes only):

  1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
  2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
  3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
  4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
  5. How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
  6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
  7. Google Maps really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
  8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
  9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
  10. Bad decisions make good stories.
  11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
  12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after BluRay? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.
  13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
  14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this – ever.
  15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dang it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
  16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
  17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
  18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
  19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
  20. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
  21. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
  22. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
  23. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
  24. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
  25. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
  26. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?
  27. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
  28. driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.
  29. Someimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
  30. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet money everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time !

Note: these are for entertainment purposes only, and I mean offense to no one by them.  Just wanted to make ya smile. ;)

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    6 Responses to “30 grownup truths (humorous)”

    1. I’ve never seen so much Truth with a capital ‘T’ in one place before.

      Esp. number 20.

      --Justin Aiken, on September 10th, 2010 at 2:45 am
    2. Haha, thanks Justin! Strange, isn’t it, how the world is so much different as adults than it was when we were kids?

      --Kawika Heftel, on September 10th, 2010 at 2:57 am
    3. The nap comment is especially true!

      --John Macdonald, on September 13th, 2010 at 5:33 pm
    4. I know! The thought that I ever refused the chance to take a nap… How I wish college had naptime, with snacks and little blankets!

      --Kawika Heftel, on September 13th, 2010 at 7:33 pm
    5. Thanks for giving me a laugh on a day when I really needed one :)

      --Linda McFate, on January 19th, 2011 at 11:58 pm
    6. No problem, you’re welcome! Hope to see you around here often!

      --Kawika Heftel, on January 20th, 2011 at 5:51 pm

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